Saturday, February 03, 2007
Aloneness beyond Loneliness
The more I communicate with people the more I realize that it's all just a futile and collossal waste of time.
I keep falling into some misguided and pathetic delusion that I am actually making sense, that somehow I am clearly conveying concepts. Then..someone says something and I realize that it is impossible to portray any thought in my head purely and innocently.
Does no one else see the loneliness in this?
I'm almost 40 and I continue propogating the same idealistic and childish fantasy that kindred spirits actually exist "out there" and that I have the hope of connecting with any of them.
Someone kick me in the head please. I give up.
I think that's why I don't actually blog using words that much....because I *know* that it will come back and bite me in the ass. So...off I go now to try to find an image of some sort to express my utter frustration and "aloneness".
