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Tuesday, November 28, 2006


It was not a good day today.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Hell

Today is picture day. For moms out there, you know what I mean. We are getting dressed in our finest...seeing Santa for pics....and going to Sears for "professional" pictures. Given that my daughters birthday is fast approaching, we have the high aspiration of taking her birthday picture, as well as the kids Christmas picture.
I swear it is the most stressful day of the year for me. We are now at the "fake smile" stage. You know what I am talking about: they pose for the camera semi-willingly (as opposed to a few years ago when we were in the "won't sit still stage"), but their smiles....are unnatural. They put on their "best"smile for the camera but it comes out looking like they are in pain and mommy is holding their new kitten hostage.
well.....at least they dont cry anymore as soon as they see a camera....

Addendum:

*gotta say.....the day started out crap. My son knocked over a small shelf and crushed an antique teacup/saucer of mine....I was not amused...and my daugher...*big sigh*....well...I discovered while we were getting ready for the monumental picture day that she cut her hair. By herself. On her own. For some unknown reason. chopped off a hunk of it on one side..and "trimmed' the other. I figure she did it the day before.....why? Who the hell knows...she's 4...soon to be 5. So...I resorted to clipping up one side and camoflaging the near disaster that way.
In the meanwhile....at the mall, Sears only had one camera working and they were running waaaay behind. I wasn't in a rush and agreed to wait. What choice did i have really, I have ****no***** time to go back between now and xmas. Turned out....they gave me about 50% off and a ton of freebies because of it.
****THRILLED*****
The pics went pretty well..and so did the Santa pics. All in all.....not a bad ending...
...well...except for the fact that its late, I should be in bed but i have discovered that my dishwasher is not draining water. *UGH*..messy.
That's a day in my life.

Friday, November 24, 2006


Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow.....

It's 11 degrees celcius outside. I can almost go put on shorts...or so it seems. Been rambing around on this sunny day sans a coat. Lovely weather really. So....why do I wish it would snow?
It's the end of November, I am not in the mood for xmas but she's-a-comin' I can feel it in my bones. Before christmas arrives I have to:
*finish xmas shopping - I actually think I am done...but the next thing has to happen before I know for sure....
*organize all the shit and wrap it...
*organize a soon-to-be 5 year olds birthday party (heaven preserve us)
*clean my house (although that never ends...and in all frankness, feel like it never starts)
*buy a wedding shower present.
*attend a wedding shower that I really super duper dont want to go to
*get the kids xmas pics taken at Sears and with the Jolly Fat man himself.
*get my kids new car seat installed
*do my usual shit
*clean 2 closets
*thin the herd of toys in the "kids" room.
*put up my xmas tree

So...why do I want it to snow? Cause Ive put up the outdoor lights and i *love* when they are on peeking thru snowdrifts (by "I" please insert: My husband put up the lights whilst I directed). Plus, I think snow would be a nice panic reminder to get off my ass and get shit done rather than (finally) catching up on emails and yahoogroup posts..and this blog.

Snow dammit....pretty, big, light, fluffy snowflakes......Snow....

Snowcrystals.com

Wednesday, November 22, 2006




Do you *really* think that article will work? Check out India.....


ONLY IN INDIA ! CRAZY STUFF ! INSANE ! - Google Video

European Cities Do Away with Traffic Signs

(Link to original)

By Matthias Schulz

Are streets without traffic signs conceivable? Seven cities and regions in Europe are giving it a try -- with good results.

Drachten in the Netherlands has gotten rid of 16 of its traffic light crossings and converted the other two to roundabouts.
Zoom
Ben Behnke

Drachten in the Netherlands has gotten rid of 16 of its traffic light crossings and converted the other two to roundabouts.

"We reject every form of legislation," the Russian aristocrat and "father of anarchism" Mikhail Bakunin once thundered. The czar banished him to Siberia. But now it seems his ideas are being rediscovered.

European traffic planners are dreaming of streets free of rules and directives. They want drivers and pedestrians to interact in a free and humane way, as brethren -- by means of friendly gestures, nods of the head and eye contact, without the harassment of prohibitions, restrictions and warning signs.

A project implemented by the European Union is currently seeing seven cities and regions clear-cutting their forest of traffic signs. Ejby, in Denmark, is participating in the experiment, as are Ipswich in England and the Belgian town of Ostende.

The utopia has already become a reality in Makkinga, in the Dutch province of Western Frisia. A sign by the entrance to the small town (population 1,000) reads "Verkeersbordvrij" -- "free of traffic signs." Cars bumble unhurriedly over precision-trimmed granite cobblestones. Stop signs and direction signs are nowhere to be seen. There are neither parking meters nor stopping restrictions. There aren't even any lines painted on the streets.

"The many rules strip us of the most important thing: the ability to be considerate. We're losing our capacity for socially responsible behavior," says Dutch traffic guru Hans Monderman, one of the project's co-founders. "The greater the number of prescriptions, the more people's sense of personal responsibility dwindles."

Monderman could be on to something. Germany has 648 valid traffic symbols. The inner cities are crowded with a colorful thicket of metal signs. Don't park over here, watch out for passing deer over there, make sure you don't skid. The forest of signs is growing ever denser. Some 20 million traffic signs have already been set up all over the country.

Psychologists have long revealed the senselessness of such exaggerated regulation. About 70 percent of traffic signs are ignored by drivers. What's more, the glut of prohibitions is tantamount to treating the driver like a child and it also foments resentment. He may stop in front of the crosswalk, but that only makes him feel justified in preventing pedestrians from crossing the street on every other occasion. Every traffic light baits him with the promise of making it over the crossing while the light is still yellow.

"Unsafe is safe"

The result is that drivers find themselves enclosed by a corset of prescriptions, so that they develop a kind of tunnel vision: They're constantly in search of their own advantage, and their good manners go out the window.

The new traffic model's advocates believe the only way out of this vicious circle is to give drivers more liberty and encourage them to take responsibility for themselves. They demand streets like those during the Middle Ages, when horse-drawn chariots, handcarts and people scurried about in a completely unregulated fashion. The new model's proponents envision today's drivers and pedestrians blending into a colorful and peaceful traffic stream.

It may sound like chaos, but it's only the lesson drawn from one of the insights of traffic psychology: Drivers will force the accelerator down ruthlessly only in situations where everything has been fully regulated. Where the situation is unclear, they're forced to drive more carefully and cautiously.

Indeed, "Unsafe is safe" was the motto of a conference where proponents of the new roadside philosophy met in Frankfurt in mid-October.

True, many of them aren't convinced of the new approach. "German drivers are used to rules," says Michael Schreckenberg of Duisburg University. If clear directives are abandoned, domestic rush-hour traffic will turn into an Oriental-style bazaar, he warns. He believes the new vision of drivers and pedestrians interacting in a cozy, relaxed way will work, at best, only for small towns. But one German borough is already daring to take the step into lawlessness. The town of Bohmte in Lower Saxony has 13,500 inhabitants. It's traversed by a country road and a main road. Cars approach speedily, delivery trucks stop to unload their cargo and pedestrians scurry by on elevated sidewalks.

The road will be re-furbished in early 2007, using EU funds. "The sidewalks are going to go, and the asphalt too. Everything will be covered in cobblestones," Klaus Goedejohann, the mayor, explains. "We're getting rid of the division between cars and pedestrians."

The plans derive inspiration and motivation from a large-scale experiment in the town of Drachten in the Netherlands, which has 45,000 inhabitants. There, cars have already been driving over red natural stone for years. Cyclists dutifully raise their arm when they want to make a turn, and drivers communicate by hand signs, nods and waving.

"More than half of our signs have already been scrapped," says traffic planner Koop Kerkstra. "Only two out of our original 18 traffic light crossings are left, and we've converted them to roundabouts." Now traffic is regulated by only two rules in Drachten: "Yield to the right" and "Get in someone's way and you'll be towed."

Strange as it may seem, the number of accidents has declined dramatically. Experts from Argentina and the United States have visited Drachten. Even London has expressed an interest in this new example of automobile anarchy. And the model is being tested in the British capital's Kensington neighborhood.



Sunday, November 19, 2006

UCLA Student Tasered by UCLA Police





If this were a peaceful demonstration, and the demonstrators wanted to use passive resistance...is this the expected outcome?

Saturday, November 18, 2006


Colour me Hope....!


My grandfather...spoke to me today!! For the first time in a month and a half...he spoke to me.

AND smiled...at me and my daughter!!

He didn't say much.....but they were actual words!!

I could not believe it. Called my dad....he can't believe it either. I'm in shock and stunned.
To say I am happy...is a complete understatement....


La langue des folles ~ A lingua dos malucos

I find it interesting I have to admit...that depending on my mood, I seek out specific languages. I speak english...but my first language was portuguese, and when I was 8 yrs old, we moved to Quebec and I had to learn french.
My french was never strong. Even at my best, I would be hard pressed to call myself fluent, although others did. I spoke it fairly well...but it was obvious to anyone that I had definate limiations of expression. I never recieved formal instruction in any language other than
english...at school in Quebec, I failed that year initially because of the language difficulties I had at the time. They agreed to pass me only because my parents agreed to pull me from the french school and ship me back to Toronto to live with my grandparents in order to go to school here. Hence my attachment to my grandparents. My fluency in french actually came later...but through disuse, I have lost much of it. Actually, lost isn't accurate....it's dormant. I know its all there....and I know that it could be easily recaptured.
My portuguese remains very good.
I am asked by a curious friend of mine questions about my bi(tri)lingualism. Do I think in other languages? Do I dream in other languages? Mostly....I don't think in any language. I just think.
Don't you?
I think almost in color...in texture...in nuance....in mood.....my thoughts are too fast for words typically. However, when I do realize that there are actual words in my head...they tend to be in english. In particular when I'm theorizing or pondering something in my head...if words can be used, they are english. I cannot express any complicated idea in any language other than english. It's impossible.
Having said that....I do find myself periodically dreaming in another language. For some reason I remember dreaming in french typically. Dunno why.

When I am content...and alone...often if I am walking....I am starting to realize that I often catch myself thinking...feeling....in portuguese. Dunno why.

But...when I am sad.....when I am ... in heartache...melancholy....lost.....I find myself in french.


I wonder, of late...whether its because of global feelings associated with the specific times in my life when I was immersed in those particular languages.....or....if there is something particularily inherant in that specific language that lends itself to a mood easier than others. There are phrases or words in the languages that I know that are perfect to capture a meaning of something.....something that requires more than one word to express in another language.....I either know more of these sad words in french...or, french is a sad language lol. Or, I am pathetically insane..never discount that lol.

Musing further....for me...french and portuguese are like good food......the texture of the language, the feel of it in my mouth....the sound of it in my ears...they are decadent; full-bodied; rich; flavorful. English....for me....is just english. A means of communicating. There isn't anything "pretty" about english to my ears....nothing...rich....no words that capture a feeling as perfectly as those few emotion words that I know in the "romance" languages. English is pragmatic.....the others are emotional. ~~~ It is 1:45 am. The house is asleep. I'm listening to Loreena McKennitt (Dante's Prayer). Like nights lit with the brightness of a full moon ..... I ~feel~ connected to the world, and I feel alone. Not lonely...just alone with my thoughts. My memories. I feel haunted. *shaking head*....too much sharing for one night me thinks......G'nite.....

Friday, November 17, 2006


Je suis triste.....sans espoir.....I am without hope.......


......the day is past.......and I have been thinking about everything.....two doctors have called now to get more information about him....it has become clearer to me now....

......this sucks.

I was so relieved earlier today to have *something*...*some* diagnosis....*some* inkling of what the hell was going on. Now I just feel empty again.
I am sad. So sad.
I didn't realize before that by not knowing, I had hope.
Now I know...and the hope is gone for me. I'm pretty darn sure that my grandfather will never look at me and smile his knowing smile again...ever. I'm pretty sure that I won't hear his voice again. I can't believe *that* time..the time that I never truly believed would come...is coming. I am going to miss him so much...I already do.
How do people stand it? How do people stand to keep living when their child dies...or their families do. This is my grandfather....and elderly man who is reaching the end of his time....it's a natural death...a natural end.....its sad but not tragic....how do people live with tragedies.
I can't even imagine. I don't want to ever know.

I hope, with all my soul, that my grandfather doesn't linger for years like my grandmother did.

FINALLY! An answer.....

For those of you having followed the saga of my grandfathers sudden transformation.....he went from a fully functioning elderly man who would get into his scooter and go to the mall to hang with his pals....to...a man who sits in bed and is almost completely unresponsive. He hasn't smiled at me in over a month....doesn't talk...is barely able to eat.

The CT scan indicates that he had a frontal lobe stroke. It's not good news....but at least it's news. We *finally* know *something*.

Thursday, November 16, 2006


Colic and Natalie.....

My son had bad, bad, bad, colic. When he was about a month old, you could set a clock by him....7 pm he would start to cry and be inconsolable and wouldn't stop until about 2 am. It was nuts. My husband would come home from work and his job was to walk back and forth, and back and forth in the living room holding him...my job was to play a song over and over and over. One song in the whole wide world would keep him from crying. It would have been funny if we hadn't been so dang tired. I had to make sure that the song wouldn't go to the next track on the CD. My son could be crying and as soon as he heard the first note of this special song, he would clam up mid-cry; but, if the song went to the next track....he would start again.
Needless to say I know the song well....all the lyrics and every nuance.
Well...I have to say, this is *the* funniest thing ever to my husband and I...and a nice spin on a melancholy memory:


Wednesday, November 15, 2006


I love sunflowers

Tuesday, November 14, 2006




My grandfather is back in the hospital....we have no idea what is going on. I suspect that it's a "brain stem" thing.....he failed his swallowing assessment today and I also think that he may be back in the hospital for aspiration...
.....I am completely at a loss.......

Monday, November 13, 2006

Oye...!

.....update on Rene...in case anyone here actually cares.....turns out, his manager from when he and his sister were kids, is serving 3+ years for molesting Nathalie Simard !!! !!! !!!!
I can't believe it.
Oh..and apparently, Rene's two kids were born deaf and have cochlear implants. My french is rusty and that's what I've gleaned from reading french google info.
Odd really since I am an audiologist.....odd for me...not you....nevermind. Anyway...in case you were doing the "what ever happened to" game like I was.

Hey...question: is there any artist/actor that you were fond of as a kid that has disappeared and you wonder "what ever happened to"?
I've got a ton of them......maybe I will start a theme lol....


Retro Quebec.....


When I was 8 we moved from Toronto to Quebec. I have...mixed emotions from my brief time there. It wasn't the warm and comfortable time that I remember from being in Toronto where I knew the language and the terrain. In anycase, one *very* fond collection of memories that I do have is of Rene Simard. I was in love...along with so many other young girls in Quebec.....with Rene.
My mom bought all the albums for me and my first 8 track was Rene's "Ma petite japonaise".

Anyone here remember his variety show with his sister *putting hand in air* (hell, for that matter, anyone here remember 8-tracks??) ...memories lol.....

My all time favorite Rene song is of course his trademark song....."L'Oiseau". Imagine my absolute and utter delight when I found it on You Tube!!!!! So...if you will all indulge me....here he is:

Rene Simard - L'Oiseau
Rene Simard - L'Oiseau (older)
Rene Simard - Ave Maria (my second fav song)
Rene Simard and Celine Dion
Rene Simard - On ne vie jamais pour rien
Rene Simard - Comment ca va
Rene Simard - Medley de succes

(Jokes about Rene's haircut and dramatic flare are unwelcomed lol)....


....AND....I *have* to include Edith Piaf's "La Vie en Rose".......!! Also from You Tube.....awesome site btw....

Je t'aime toujours Rene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*insert silly girl scream here*


Rene et Natalie



Sunday, November 12, 2006

Obligatory cute kitten picture....

.....meet Simon.....




...and this is Oliver.....(this is an old picture...he is much older now).



Saturday, November 11, 2006

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, saw dawn, felt sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up your quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Doctor Major (later Lieutenant-Colonel) John McCrae of the 1st Field Artillery Brigade wrote this poem on May 3, 1915 after the battle at Ypres. The poem was later published in "Punch", December 8, 1915.




Poppy Campaign Information (Card)
(The Royal Canadian Legion)

World War I:

1. 628,736 Canadians served.
2. 66,573 died and 138,166 were wounded.
3. 2,818 were taken prisoner of war.
4. 175 merchant seamen died by enemy action.

World War II:

1. 1,031,902 Canadian men and 49,963 Canadian women served.
2. 44,927 died and 43,145 were wounded.
3. 8,271 were taken prisoner of war.
4. 1,146 merchant seamen died by enemy action.

Korea:

1. 26,791 Canadians served.
2. 516 died and 1,558 were wounded.
3. 33 were taken prisoner of war.

The Gulf War:

1. 3,837 Canadian men and 237 Canadian women served.
2. There were no Canadian casualties or prisoners of war during the Gulf War.

Sources: Department of National Defence; Veterans Affairs Canada. Queries regarding these statistics shuld be referred to these departments. March 1992.



Friday, November 10, 2006

Tired of Fighting




I'm on a few chat groups....and I'm tired of fighting. Can't I just go onto a group that actually discusses intelligent information rather than going all "Jerry Springer"??


I am so damn tired........I put in 22 hours of overtime this week...plus all the other shit I have to do. I need an assistant dammitalltohell....

Wednesday, November 08, 2006




Rumsfeld's replacement?

Monday, November 06, 2006






Britax Regent - a friend sent me this link. I've always been a 5 pt seat advocate...here's an excellent reason why.

GET A 5pt HARNESS TODAY!!!!!




Sunday, November 05, 2006

It's very odd really......I tend to be a very chatty person IRL....and in the past, it was quite typical of me to delve into my personal "issue" all the time. As I get older though, I am (finally) finding myself more reclusive as "shit hits the fan". Posting to inform people is .... not a natural thing I do anymore. For one thing I figure who gives a shit really....and for another thing, internet life has taught me that sympathetic ears are few and anything you post can and will be used against you.

Anyway.....enough with the cryptic eh? What has been going on? This (in no particular order):

1. my grandfather is still...catatonic? Seriously...he is...and we have no idea why. He is back at the nursing home. He is over the menningitis (?never confirmed 100%). His pneumonia is better although he still has a nasty cough. But he is almost completely unresponsive. AND....you can almost pose him. He will react somewhat to sound...but only by changing his face. If you raise an arm or his...he leaves it in that position. Move his leg...he leaves it in that position. He won't feed himself, he can't walk, he can't (?)/won't talk...doesn't repsond in anyway. My stepmom is a nurse and she is convinced that he has some sort of catatonic depression. He does suffer from depression from time to time and it seems as though he has completely regressed into his mind. He hasnt had a stroke....we can find no organic cause for why he is like this....could he be sooo depressed?? It would make sense, he is in a nursing home that he agreed to go to in order to be with my grandmother, she died in august...they were married over 60 years. 60 plus years!!! Can you even wrap your head around that???? I saw it..and i cant. How do you go on after that? He has always had a "touch of the melancholy" that I have recognized...I have it too. I can understand this...but how do we get him out??? My step mother wants electric shock therapy and I have no other suggestions.
The really bizzare thing is...this all resulted over the course of a weekend. He was ok on a friday....got sick and has been like this ever since the monday. That was over a month ago now. Thoughts and suggestions are greatly appreciated.

2. Ive been spending too much money on "shit"...most of its xmas presents but not all. Thats what I do when Im stressed.

3. Ive been working toooooo much and not spending enough time on the kids and the house..and its really bugging me. Im spread too thinly these days.....as i type this I am listening to my daughter, who is almost 5, playing on a toy keyboard singing her little heart out. I should be there with her...but im too tired to listen to her incessant chatter if i show up....and all the neverending questions...its exhausting.

4. All the shit with my grandfather and being in close contact with my dad is making things very interesting in my head. I have all sorts of conflicting emotions, all sorts of demons creeping up and biting me in the ass...messing with my head, my heart, my soul. I liked things repressed.....i dont want to visit the past and "fix it". Somethings are much better left repressed and unfixed. They cant be fixed. Sorry...dont mean to be cryptic but man, if i got into typing even a semblance of what thats about I would be here all freaking day. Scratch that...all week.

5. We got a new kitten....hes a handful...but cuter than anything.

6. Christmas is making me uber nervous.....unresolved conflict with my brother and...well...refer back to #4.

7. Im tired. Really tired. Exhausted actually. Insufficient sleep, too much stress.

8. Work is nuts....tooooooooooooooooo busy at work. Its also exhausting.

9. The estate shit from my grandmothers death and trying to make sense of my grandfathers shit is overwhelming. You dont want to know the money that my grandfather lost in the recent years from bad investments......something on the order of $800, 000 dollars. I want to vomit when i think of it.

10...."OTHER" ....all of the things that didnt come to mind at the moment but are making me nutso.

Anyway....the little one is crying for food so i have to go make lunch. There you go...a long post, with confusing information and an overwhelming sense of panic. Welcome to my head.

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