Friday, June 15, 2007
I am still obsessed with Madeleine McCann.
Why her and not other missing children?.....I'm not certain. Perhaps its because my daughter has the same name and is roughly the same age.....and even resembles her. Perhaps its because I am Portuguese by heritage and my grandparents live...lived in the Algarve. Perhaps its because they are a middle class close nit family like mine. I'm not sure. But..I think about her as much as I think about my children when I am not with them....and I got to bed every night with her name on my lips in prayer.
She is naturally still missing.
I am the first to say that what the parents of Madeleine McCann did was stupid and reckless. I can only imagine the guilt that they must be living with. However, I am utterly appalled at the insensitive comments and downright hatred that I keep coming across on the Internet and in my daily dealings with people. Its astounding.
When it comes to safety....I'm over the top. It's arguably not a good thing. I have only ever left my kids in a reputable daycare...after i stalked and spied on it for 2 weeks straight to ease my fears. Other than that....I have only ever left them briefly with family....for a few hours when we have gone to the movies on those rare occasions. I have a monitor in my kids rooms still...my son is 8! Because I want to hear them *just in case*.
I could go on with insane things that i do, all in the name of "Keeping Them Safe". They are my life. I am the first to admit that I'm toooo focused on this and that I am overprotective.
I would never have done what the McCann's did leaving their children alone in bed.
Having said all that....it was a mistake..a stupid stupid mistake but it does NOT make them bad parents. They appear to be incredible parents. This public condemnation is coming from all sides and I think its really really sick. Many of my friends have condemned her....and yet, they all do the same sorts of things:
I have a friend who leaves her younger son in the car, WITH IT RUNNING AND THE DOORS UNLOCKED, while she takes her older daughter into school. I have another friend who leaves her daughter in the company of children (aka babysitters) all the time who are typically not much older than 14 yrs. Yet another mother I know, leaves her son in the company of strangers (aka babysitters) whom she only met once. They come over, she meets them...and leaves. One smokes pot when she is caring for her children....she says it "calms her down". Down the street from me, one mom that I know in passing lets her 3 boys run amok. They are between the ages of 9 and 3. They are *always* in the back field behind our houses playing, unsupervised in the bushes. There are paths going everywhere....if anyone wanted to take them, it would be so easy.
The "WHAT IF's" that flood my mind in these situations and so many others that I see *daily* smother all other thoughts. Yet...these are the same ones who condemn the McCann's for their stupidity.
The McCann's are not abusers of their children. They appear to be terrific parents who did a stupid stupid thing. That's it..nothing more...nothing more insidious than what the majority of other parents do. I wish everyone would just focus all their energy on finding Madeleine...rather that coming up with stupid petitions to further complicate the lives of the McCann's.
So...if you are reading this and you are a condemner, I have only this to say to you....
